by Jennifer M. Green

On the first day of Christmas my manager gave to me 
The key to the layaway door. 

On the second day of Christmas my manager gave to me
Two ringing phones
And the key to the layaway door.

On the third day of Christmas my manager gave to me
Three tills with variances
Two ringing phones
And the key to the layaway door.

On the fourth day of Christmas my manager gave to me
Four cashiers on break
Three tills with variances
Two ringing phones
And the key to the layaway door. 

On the fifth day of Christmas my manager gave to me
Five price checks…
Four cashiers on break
Three tills with variances
Two ringing phones
And the key to the layaway door.

On the sixth day of Christmas my manager gave to me
Six large returns
Five price checks…
Four cashiers on break
Three tills with variances
Two ringing phones
And the key to the layaway door.

On the seventh day of Christmas my manager gave to me
Seven ticked off shoppers
Six large returns
Five price checks…
Four cashiers on break
Three tills with variances
Two ringing phones
And the key to the layaway door.

On the eighth day of Christmas my manager gave to me
Eight broken dishes
Seven ticked off shoppers
Six large returns
Five price checks…
Four cashiers on break
Three tills with variances
Two ringing phones
And the key to the layaway door.

On the ninth day of Christmas my manager gave to me
Nine racks of go-backs
Eight broken dishes
Seven ticked off shoppers
Six large returns
Five price checks…
Four cashiers on break
Three tills with variances
Two ringing phones 
And the key to the layaway door.

On the tenth day of Christmas my manager gave to me
Ten missing carts
Nine racks of go-backs
Eight broken dishes
Seven ticked off shoppers
Six large returns
Five price checks…
Four cashiers on break
Three tills with variances
Two ringing phones
And the key to the layaway door.

On the eleventh day of Christmas my manager gave to me
Eleven no call/no shows
Ten missing carts
Nine racks of go-backs
Eight broken dishes
Seven ticked off shoppers
Six large returns
Five price checks…
Four cashiers on break
Three tills with variances
Two ringing phones
And the key to the layaway door.

On the twelfth day of Christmas my manager gave to me
Twelve more cents an hour
Eleven no call/no shows
Ten missing carts
Nine racks of go-backs
Eight broken dishes
Seven ticked off shoppers
Six large returns
Five price checks…
Four cashiers on break
Three tills with variances
Two ringing phones
And the key to the layaway door. 

The Christmas Blues

by Jennifer M. Green

'Twas ten days before Christmas
And each Marshalls store
Was filled to all corners
With shoppers galore.

The clothing was hung
On the racks all askew,
And where all the shopping 
Carts were - no one knew.

Two cashiers had called out.
Three more were on break.
The lines at the registers
Were too much to take.

I could stand it no more.
I just had to leave.
I went back to the office
For a tiny reprieve.

I sat at the PC,
Logged on to our host,
But what I found there
Made my blood start to roast.

Forty-two unread messages!
How could that be?
But as I pressed "enter"
It became clear to me. 

Each message had come
From the very same place.
From the very same person 
In every case.

As I started to read them
My worst fears came true.
They were each the same message -
ALL FORTY-TWO!

What had she been thinking?
Did she think this was fun?
What was wrong with Michele
In store one-ninety-one?

Was she out of her mind?
Had she forgotten so soon
The message last year
We kept getting 'til June?

As I started deleting
An idea came to me.
I went into "send" mode
And typed out my plea.

"Oh Santa, dear Santa,
I've been a good girl.
If this doesn't end soon
I think I may hurl."

"I don't need a toy
Or a big diamond ring.
In fact, all I want
Is this one little thing."

"My true Christmas wish,
The one thing I need
Is to purge out our system
With the utmost of speed."

"So please grant this wish,
Oh, Santa, my friend,
And I'll be oh, so grateful
Until my life's end."

With that, I was finished.
My message was through.
I logged off and headed
Back out to the zoo.

Quite a while later
It was my time to go,
But I just had to check it,
I needed to know.

As I logged on I must say,
My hands - how they shook.
But I made myself go on.
I made myself look.

And what to my wondering eyes
Did appear?
Only one unread message.
Oh Santa, you dear!

The note read,"Dear Jenny,
I just read your letter.
I'm hoping your Christmas 
Will soon get much better."

"I've purged out your system
Of Michele's silly rhyme,
And banned her ID
For now and all time."

As I put on my coat
And went out to my car,
I thought, "Thank you Santa,
Wherever you are."